The day when mothers receive hearty professions of undying love has come and gone.
Some mothers received gifts, some received messages of appreciation and love. None of these is better than the other. The moms I would pity most are those that received decorated accolades on Facebook and nothing more, never mind that they are not even on Facebook. Seriously, guys.
I will totally ignore the fact some of us did/said nothing to our mothers, maybe because we have been socialized to not express so much emotion towards our mothers, or because we thought (wrongfully) that they do not care for such “trivialities” like Mother’s Day. I will also totally ignore those who reasoned that since their mothers who are growing old in the villages do not know about Mother’s Day, they need not be bothered with such celebrations. I will also ignore those who send money or shopping on regular basis and they assume they have done all they could, and if their dear mummies do not interpret that as love, then nothing else could ever work.
I will totally ignore them because they have closed their minds and chosen their paths.
Instead, I will call upon married couples to reflect on what they did for an often forgotten mum; their mother-in-law.
The moment you married your wife, or husband, you got yourself a new mum. If the two of you in deed became one, then no doubt you got yourself a new mum. A mum whom you might have forgotten or ignored as you went all big about your birth mother. A mum who deserves your love and appreciation, for raising you that wife or husband that you love so much. Or at least that you go home to, haha.
She may be a mum who is not your “type”. But her son is your type, appreciate that mama.
She may be a mum whom you have not warmed up to enough to tell the words “I love you”, but hey, she is human and she has her love language, find it out.
She may be too old to catch the drift of Mother’s Day, but you lose nothing by introducing it to her at whichever year she is at.
She may not like you so much (yet), but she can’t stop your wonderfulness of loving her and appreciating her.
You may not like her so much, but she is the grandma of your children and you have no business souring your kids’ relationship with their grandma so shape up and show a little bit more love.
She may be pure drama, but she won’t always be there so be undramatic and give her your best for now.
Our mothers in law are not perfect, but neither are we. We do not have to be best friends with them, but we cannot each care about their own mummies and forget – no, ignore- the mothers of our spouses. Husbands, as well as wives, are not dumb or stupid. They see a lot of things, and even though they may never voice it, they know when you don’t like their parents. Liking their parents is not a pre-requisite in marriage, but imagine how they feel. It is not a good feeling to know that your spouse dislikes your parent, in fact, that is a breeding ground for a whole different lot of marital problems. Learn how to love and express that love to your spouse’s parents, regardless of how they come.