Just think about it, what impacted you the most about your mother’s bringing you up?

Did she give you great education while denying herself a lot of life’s pleasures and luxuries?

Is it the many prayers she sent to heaven on your behalf?

Or is your mind filled with childhood memories of blissful excursions she took you to?

On this Mother’s day I have two goals, to thank my mom for being so awesome and to reflect on the most important thing I am passing on to my children. It’s a great day for thought, given COVID-19.

Them having a good academic education seems a good ambition, but doesn’t rank the highest. Creating colourful childhood memories for them seems like a decent goal… in fact my husband has always been keen to spend active outdoor time with them and to share great music with them, while I have always been doing a great deal of the talking to them as well as getting kitchen-y and artsy with them. Pretty decent, but not so much to leave and give.

I pray for them, I read and study the word of God with them. Still, I recognize that a higher goal is them knowing how to turn to God in prayer for themselves and how to find His instruction for themselves and most importantly, to delight in fulfilling it.

The best thing to give them is what I would give when I am not there. If I stopped being on earth with them, what would happen to their feelings of joy, security and protection, which I seem to be getting a good grip of so far?

The best I can do for this dear children is something that can outlive me. It is the security that all is not over between them and I. We WILL meet again. The assurance that mommy is in heaven with her Father, so they need not think it’s been good, it’s been real and it’s a wrap. The best I can do for them is having them know they need not worry if I will pass the test when the day of reckoning by the Giver of life comes. They need not to fear, be anxious, and they need not feel not unprayed for, because they learnt to go on their knees by themselves.

On this Mother’s Day, you can tell what it is that you have given your children (hint; it’s on their cards’ messages). And you can make better resolutions on what you will give them henceforth. It’s a good day to resolve not to be shouting so much, and not to be punishing accidents as if they were sins. It’s a good day to resolve to walk closer with them academically and socially and a good day to strategize on how you will prepare them better for adulthood.

However, the best resolution you can make today is to live in such a manner to assure your children that you are walking towards the sky, not the grave. If you love them so very much that you spare no expense for their well-being and you would perhaps die for them, take it a notch higher and give them something beyond the days you can stretch your arms.

Leaving such an assurance is more than the consolation that the priest gives during a burial. It cannot be attained by our heartfelt consolation messages to your loved ones when you are gone. Because they know, they spent life with you and the truth is that they can tell if they will be seeing you again or it’s a wrap.

As I celebrate one of my mothers in her absence today, I am grateful that she left that great security of it’s-not-a-wrap with me. It’s sad not to have her receive my physical appreciation today. But while she was with us, I appreciated her (and I urged all of you to appreciate your spouses’ moms). Even though she didn’t care so much for Mother’s Day, I would send a loving message home or an Mpesa. Perhaps she thought her son married a very extra Nairobi girl, I will never know. What I know is that I have been a recipient of a mother’s purest love in not having to worry about her when she is gone. I thank God and I thank her, because I do not have to wonder about meeting her again or about her reaping the hellish suffering that is the destiny of those who do not die in The LORD.

My prayer for you is that beyond the thing your children are celebrating you for today, they may truly be able to celebrate when you are gone.

Six years ago, I had written more about that.

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